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Dear January,
today happens to be one of the toughest day in your whole entire life.
The battle against your thoughts and your conscience is really tiring.
You reevaluate things a lot and sometimes it's a little too much.
You care for people who won't even remember your middle name when they're happy.
You have this other self living in you chasing after happiness.
But, all you're getting in return are disappointments and regrets.
After knowing that all you've ever received back is unhappiness and more sadness in life, you started asking yourself why and what's the reason you're in this mess.
You started blaming yourself for the things that never was your concern in the first place.
You started putting everyone first instead of yourself.
You gave your priority to them just so the least they could do is to appreciate it,
but you were so wrong about it.
How many heartbreaks you've received so far?
You've tried so hard to not be selfish but you've failed to realised that you're wrong about certain things. Why?
You're selfish to not let them grow up and handle their own business naturally.
You're selfish to let what they're saying now affects you.
You're selfish to even try to correct things on their behalf
when they clearly didn't even ask for it.
You're selfish for being a busybody in taking care of their mess.
You're selfish to put their thoughts and feelings first before yours.
You being nice won't grant you a place in heaven or make you a saint.
If you can be that selfish in life,
you deserve more than anything to be selfish enough to love yourself.
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